I've Finally Broke My 2yrs ++ Relationship

Well, previous post, I've blog about my gf changed untill I don't really know who's she right now.
Sunday, she finally burst out that she likes another guy in her college which already had a girlfriend, and she said that she doesn't want to break people relationship, and ours relationship as well, she said that she was still thinking of me, but her emotion forced her to like that guy, so what could I say more about this?

It's not fair to me to continue with her in this kinda situations, she asked me to give her sometimes to make sure bout her feelings, but I guess the 1 weeks times is sufficent for her to make sure bout her feelings towards me, and yea, she said that she still very love me, thats why she burst out this issued so that we can settle it without breaking up, what she is trying to mean is to safe this relationship, but do you think that I can still act like nothing happened again?I had enough about this kinda stuff, it's been 2yrs ++ we together, and you just entered UTAR for about 2weeks and you likes another guy?How would you think if I told you that I likes another girl in my college?It's same right?

My feelings towards her is getting lesser day by day since the Reeve issue, until todate, I admit that I still loves her, but the problems is, she doesn't worth for me to love anymore, she said that she felt so sorry to betrayed me, and said that she won't couple so soon and not planning to break the guys relationship with her current gf, what is she trying to highlighted?HELLO!! do you mean that if he is single, you will get together with him?1st sight, I really hurt by her statement, but today i think back, I can't put the full blame to her, as it might be my prob, because my 2yrs ++ loves to her is not power enough compared with the guy that she meet at UTAR for 2weeks, so I guess I should blame myself instead of blamming her right?

She also stated down at the last message that I should choose Xinyu which she doesn't really wants to admit that xinyu suits me more than her, does it really matter right now?Do you think I will start a new relationship so soon?Eventhough that I want, doesn't mean that I should, because it's not fair to the girl that I choose right?It will end up makes them feel that they're just a subsitute her in my heart, so just forget about this for the moment, I preffer to stay single first.

And yea, regarding the Small Island (Bubu Long Beach) trip, actually it's her birthday + her SPM 8 A's present, but it seems that she's the one who don't want to wait until after the trip only burst this issue out, I guess if she burst it out after the trips, I won't so headache to ask people around to company me go, actually there's few peepz who willing to pay and go with me, but unfortunately, I only need 1, some said ask girls go, so that I might get a chance to get laid, some says that go with a guy, and hunt at the beach, and some even said that sell off the tix to others people, so I don't need to worry bout the trip, but can't, because it's a room sharing with my pet sis (Jeannette) and her bf (Bernard), so it's kinda weird if they stay with the strangers, lolz, and yea, end up I asked Jarryl to go with me, and I only charged him for rm400 the whole trip included meals, accomodation, and transportation, actual price is rm435, discounted rm35 for him as he's still studying, and willing to go with me, hahaha, well, it would be great if my gf go with me, because it was her pressent, but end up, my bro going with me, weird rite?Well, planning to buy some liquor to Bubu long beach and invite some girls from the beach to join our drinking session and get laid, ahhahahaa, yea, thats my plan, but don't think it'll works, but I don't mind giving it a try also, as me and Jarryl kinda itchy these days, lolz.

Well, I would like to express my words here to all my close buddy, you guys really make me touches by all your loves, especially my brother Amos, he's the 1st 1 who know bout this, and 1st 1 to yumchar with me, althought that during yc session, we didn't talk much bout my prob, it's more into those business issue and making money issues, haha, kinda fun when you talk to him with those making money issues, maybe he has the same brain like me, thinking the same things and same standard, 2nd person who know will be Neh, but he only free to yc with me last nite, haih....he get his N95, and lanci infront of me saying that the camera 5mp is too much, take pix too clear, not nice, and take my face pix and show me, and said "SEE, UR PIMPLE SO OBVIOUS" niamakahai....3rd 1 who know bout this is my pet sis Jeannette, and she's the 2nd person to yc with me company by her boyfriend Bernard as well, 4th who know bout this is Jarryl, and he joined the yc session while I yc with Jeannette & her BF, and the 5th will be my dad & Sister, which both of them gave me a numb look and asked me why and how it happened, after I explain to my dad, he just tell me this "if she can like other guy in 2weeks times, proven that this girl is not worth to love, U scared what?Out side still got so many girls, U scared can't get ar?" lolz, I laugh!And last night, finally my another pet sis from my secondary school asked bout why I didn't bring my gf out, I show her the message, she told me that "it's like mer,not love also" what the hell, if you don't like, where comes love?

Well, today, my mind suddenly reminds me that today is 22nd of June, and few more days is her birthday, I picked up my phone and start sms her bout tomorrow Digital Mall got mid year sales, thumbdrive 1GB rm30++, and asked her how is she doing these days. She replied that she's fine there, peace, and asked me whether going to digital mall or not, and asked me to help her on her assignment regarding clubbing scenes, as everyones know that I quit clubbing since a year ago, so if wants to check with me, is abit out lar, lolz. And I admit that I really miss her, I couldn't stop thinking bout her when I was alone in the bus, at home, or even when I'm shitting.

Friends around asked me whether I will feel depress/sad/hurt/regret on this matter or not, I answer them just a lil bit, but in my heart, the feelings is seriously hurt deeply, but somehow, when I'm outing with my pals, I won't felt sad, I still like the normal me, kept on make them laugh like hell, talk cock and so on, but when I was alone, my mind started to think back every single things that we've done, my house, every part in my house there's her shadow there, my rooms especially, the moment, I miss the hugz, the kisses, and others things which I don't really want to list it out, 2 years ++ it's really a long term relationships, I thought we won't breakup, but I just couldn't take it anymore, my mind forced me to break, but my hearts was blocking me to do so, and at last, my brain won the war, I gave up this relationships, and I've no idea when will find another girl to be my partner, I guess for the moment, I still wants to enjoy being a single guy, hows the feelings, but of cause, the 1st answer I'll get is LONELY, seriously, I hate watching people dating when I'm alone, people asked me whether will want her back or not if she bag me, I still couldn't give them my answer, maybe yes, maybe not, no idea, all I need is a partner, a sex partner, I'm horny, pervert and what eva you guys wana call it, I ADMIT!

Some even asked me to consider Xinyu to be my partner, ermm, for me, she's good, pretty, and mature. She said that she was still waiting for me, but then, I've no idea whether it's true or not, I scare I get fooled, and I know who I am, a guy that full with pimple on the face and old looking face, poor guy, with a horny attitude, LOLZ, if she be with me, I don't think I can give her happiness or whateva she wants, all I want now is a sex partner, ahahahaha, I'm a horny man..I guess I will just flirt around in the club and find those chicks who's waiting to get laid, I still got lots CONDOMs hasn't use, ahahahhaa...HAMSAP lar me...can't believe that I so the hamsap now, lolz...help....guess should stop here, or else, no idea when only can stop blogging, ahahaha the end......